Roommate situation. What would you do?

Ugh. I'm so annoyed with my current living situation. My fiance and I live with his best friend in a 3 bedroom house. It's always been somewhat of an issue - but as of recently, our roommate has been really slacking when it comes to sharing household chores. He'll occasionally (1x/week @ most) straighten the kitchen, but he will not wipe down counters, clean out fridge or sweep, ever ... I don't think I've ever seen him do these things actually. He won't even throw away trash from Taco Bell we bought him 3 days ago! We've talked to him probably 20 times about this over the last year, no joke. We tried talking to him about this most recently on Monday but he just got super defensive and said he felt he does more than his share and literally sat on the couch and watched us clean the house. At this point, my fiance and I decided it might be better to illustrate in the form of an email spefically where we thought he could help out more, and bottom line we felt he was being disrespectful by not helping out more and by watching us as we work around the house. Our resolve was that we all should clean up our own messes, cook our own food, and basically, only use our own possessions and he not use ours. We thought this would get the point across to him just how many ways we help him out - (for example EVERYTHING in the house except for what's in his bedroom and ONE pan in the kitchen is ours. Everything. He doesn't even own a car. My fiance lets him use his bike to get to and from work.) We thought this might waken him up a bit when he realizes he won't even be able to cook his own dinner without the help of what we've let him use of ours for the past 1.5 years! Instead, he writes back to us that this is all fine by him, and again that he feels he's doing more than enough around the house.



He's so stubborn that instead of just helping us like we want and need, he is now walking to work and basically eating out of cans (since he doesn't even have dishes).



Are we taking the wrong approach here? Is this all worth it? He's on the lease so it's not like we can just kick him out. He's going to be the best man in our wedding even! We don't want to lose a friend, but it's not fair to us to spend our days off cleaning the house while he sits on his computer any free minute he has. We would like to do nothing too, but refuse to live in filth! What would you do? ANY advice is appreciated!Roommate situation. What would you do?
Oh my god! lol. just reading this is slightly making my blood boil! Since you have probably used the best nicest possible way to deal with him. You have to change tactics. Well you can't be mean cause like you said you don't want to lose a friend.



Try dividing the chores into 3.

1. vacumming the whole house

2. washing dishes/kitchen work

3. cleaning the windows/ garden work.



Make it into a game, like every week, Whoever does the best job, gets a prize or something :)! It'll be pretty fun too if the prize is good! And whoever does the worst job is punished, by buying everyone lunch or something!



Anyway, if you want your roommate to attend this game, you have to intelligently make him feel good about himself first. Like "sorry about before, but me and (your bf) hasn't seen you really do any work around here. To make it fair, I've thought of a 'system' that evenly distributes the work around the house...blahblah...yeah and whoever does the best work gets the PRIZE, and the loser has to treat the other 2 lunch (or whatever ele you can think of!" :D. you can send it through email to him, btu remember to use nice words to allow him to fall for..the trap xD.



The punishment, if he accepts the system and doesn't do the work, acts like a swear jar. And after a period of time, hopefully he gets the msg if he doesn't move his butt, his wallet is going to be empty! :)



Oh yeh if you want this system to be strict, and don't let him quit* you can say, whoever quits the system must give the other two $200 each =3 ~ if I* hear this, i won't quit the system~



Good Luck and hopefully it works out for you.~
Yes, you seem to be taking the wrong approach. show him the door.

He can move in with his parents or someone who appreciates his mess.Roommate situation. What would you do?
one word

adjustRoommate situation. What would you do?
YOU are SCREWED!!!!!

#1 never sign a lease with a friend

#2 if he pays his part of the rent, then he feels he can live how he wants, (and he is in-titled to do so if he pays his part of the rent)

#3 if this upsets you, learn from it while you and your fiance are cleaning up after him. as i said before, if he is paying his part of the rent there is nothing you can do

#4 this is how he is, get used to it, and do not resign that lease.
Wow sounds exactly like my situation, everything is the same.....I dont know how to get it across either hun I try to be so nice and hang nice notes up like please help take out the trash....and the one day i cleaned the whole house and my roomate walked rite by me....The next approach is to be mean? Ughh I cant figure it out myself especially when nothing is getting doneeee!!!!!!!!! My roomate is mad at me because I yelled at her for letting a candle lit is this wrong????? ugh! She could have put our whole apt in flames or worse killed me because I was sleeping! But yea I believe its hard tlaking about things especially when they are good friends because they allllways get defensive! It sucks....
okay. from what your saying he does nothing.



ill do my best to help, or at least give you some feedback



i think the cutting him off from everything is a bit childish, but that was understandable. i find it funny that he is so stubborn as to just walk to work and eat out of cans.



i would probably suggest moving out, but since you all are on the lease and everything that might now work.



maybe try getting him to list the things he thinks he does. look at the list, then ask him to name the last time he did whatever was on it. be sure to handle it in a calm, adult manor. do not have a blaming conversation.



maybe it is for the best that you all clean up your own messes. that way he might do the stuff that is just his, and then you all do the rest.



im sorry that you are in that situation, but I have never been in a situation like that. sorry i couldnt be of more help!
Wow.. you got a seriously lazy roommate. Why dont you tell him that you agree he does stuff but that you and your fiance have thought about starting a list. In this list you can divide the chores between the three of you. Since he is lazy give him the easier chores... He will notice he has it easier and will agree with it. Have you guys make check marks when the chore is done. If he doesnt do the chores then you have proof to show him.