Grading my SAT essay?

I wrote a practice essay for the SAT, and I'm wondering if you guys could grade it (from 1-6).



Some people believe that memories are useful for helping them succeed, while others take on the opposite view. Sometimes memories can serve as a guide, or they can hinder people from moving on. I think that, from my personal life and reading, that memories help people succeed in the future.



Recently, I read The House on Mango Street. In this novel, Esperanza, the protagonist, experiences many events that teach her to become who she wants to be. In Esperanza's Latin-American neighborhood, women are treated as inferior to men, as shown in several of Sandra Cisneros' vignettes. In one, Esperanza learns about Alicia, who is always in the kitchen cooking, or cleaning for her younger siblings. Alicia wishes to go to university for an education, but is unable to. Another memory Esperanza remembers is of Sally, a girl who is abused by her father, and marries to be disallowed to have guests over or leave the house without her husband. Esperanza sees all of this and realizes that she cannot be like them, but must instead be free and not be controlled by men.



There have been times where memories have helped me succeed as well. Once, I was practicing piano, and I came across a difficult piece. I tried to master it, but I thought I couldn't do it. However, after practicing, with struggles and tears along the way, I learned the piece and performed it for my teacher and family with pride. Now, when I come across anything hard, I brace myself for the challenge instead of trying to avoid it and just giving up.



These two examples illustrate how important our memories and our past are to the present and in determining our successes. Without Esperanza remembering those two young women or my remembering the struggle of playing that piece but succeeding in the end, our lives could have been shaped differently.



Thanks!Grading my SAT essay?
Unfortunately, I don't really know a whole lot about the specific grading rubric. I wouldn't give it a 6 because you have some errors:



"In one, Esperanza learns about Alicia, who is always in the kitchen cooking, or cleaning for her younger siblings. Alicia wishes to go to university for an education, but is unable to."

There shouldn't be a comma before "but" because "is unable to" is not an independent clause.



Another memory Esperanza remembers is of Sally, a girl who is abused by her father, and marries to be disallowed to have guests over or leave the house without her husband.

This sentence is just a little confusing and also shouldn't have a comma before "and marries...".

What do you mean "marries to be disallowed to"?



In your example, some sentences are just a little weak:

I tried to master it, but I thought I couldn't do it.



Overall, it's not bad, but your example could be stronger. I think a historical example could serve the purpose very well, seeing as there's a fantastic quote by George Santayana that states,"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"



Anyways, I'd say 4 or 5